From Pain to Progress: The Role of Acknowledgment in Healing Past Trauma
The remnants of pain from past trauma reveals itself in many forms in our lives. There are patterns that are developed and bonds itself to the manifestations of our character and conduct. Experiences from the past shapes our perception and often it challenges us to see things in a very personal and specific way. Unfortunately, deeply rooted perceptions may hold us back from changing our thinking or having the ability to be open minded to alternative ways of life. It may even cause us to settle into a definitive lifestyle for ourselves, “this is just the way I am.” A statement as such is telling the brain that I accept being this way, there is no changing, there is nothing that I can do, and I will be this way for the long haul.
The Complexities of the Brain
The importance of understanding the power of the brain can be the change that we never knew existed. The brain has the upmost capability to change in ways in which we put forth the effort, this is neuroplasticity. According to Cleveland Clinic Health Essentials, “neuroplasticity refers to your brain’s ability to absorb information and evolve to manage new challenges.” We have the divine ability to change our own brain; this is a very simple concept mixed with very complex understandings. The brain is a very delegate organ that is very much understood and misunderstood. Understood with scientific facts on how different parts of the brain operates individually and the importance of each function. Misunderstood because consciousness within the brain is an individual inner awareness connected to a higher power operated from dimensions beyond the third, the physically world.
Think in terms of a robot or artificial intelligence (AI). In the creation of an emulated character such as an AI android, it may look or even “think” like a normal human but the key component that is missing is the consciousness, the mind, the organic internal emblems that is formed from the merging of divine connections and physical realties. In the episode “Be Right Back” of the Black Mirror Series on Netflix, the husband dies leaving the wife torn. Due to his untimely death and her unbearable pain, the wife orders an AI version of her husband that is delivered directly to her doorstep. Now, the company that creates the AI versions of people pulls information from across all social media platforms to compile what is supposed to be the most accurate version of the person who has passed away. In the beginning, the wife was happy to try this “new version” of her husband, but she quickly realized that the android version lacked the true essence of the real human, the intimate emotions and divine personality that makes a person a human essentially.
There was life before social media existed. A company that creates AI androids probably would not have existed because there is no way to pull collective data of a person from online. Pre social media, face-to-face interactions was the way to experience a person. Processing death was the normal way of life; there were no alternatives. Through these experiences people learned grieving, suffering, moving on, and continuing experiencing life while balancing and battling loss. The brains’ ability to learn and grow is limitless. The more that we truly understand this phenomenon, the better we will be able to use this to our advantage to become the version of ourselves that we desire.
The Importance of Acknowledgment
Acknowledging trauma is truly the first step to healing. Many are ashamed of their painful experiences or even have suppressed it for so long that they many even have forgotten about it. But, according to a book written by Bessel van der Kolk, “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.” Although we may have pushed things so deep down in the depths of our memory, our body have internalized the pain therefore it still affects us. Acknowledging the pain opens the door for the trauma to resurface close enough to present itself back into an arm’s reach. This can be a painful process but to attain peace and find self-value it is necessary. As stated by Theodore Roosevelt “nothing worth having comes easy.”
It is important to understand that healing does not mean that the pain will disappear, that you will never cry again, that your thoughts will never protrude but how you handle yourself when these things occur. Healing is about discovering patterns to help identify when challenging times arise, catching the thoughts early in the thinking process before rising to an unmanageable state. Healing is about allowing those thoughts to simply pass through without detrimental judgement and interfering with what could be another productive valuable day.
Progress – Finding Value and Purpose
As we come to acceptance of the traumas in our lives and begin the process of healing, the light begins to shine brighter. Grasping hold of the harsh but true reality that though the trauma is not your fault, it is still your problem. Clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson mentioned that “to offset suffering is to pursue things of value.” Follow your passion, do the things that you love, rediscover yourself and try something new. There are a host of things to do to find value. From personal experience, I never thought to begin blogging or writing in general because I have always had a deep insecurity about my grammar. But I told myself, so what if it isn’t well-written or grammatically correct, I will get my point across. What I have found in the last month of writing is that I see myself improving. When I reread my post repeatedly before posting, I am making corrections and catching errors that previously sounded correct. That bit of improvement alone has built my confidence to continue doing what I love and enjoy, sharing my thoughts through writing.
The more that you defeat challenging spurs that surface, you become braver, you begin to believe in yourself more. This process gives you strength and confidence to continue fighting and building. That is the component that we are striving for to give us energy to find value and purpose. Suffering is normal and a natural part of life, but it is up to us to build resilience so that we are not stagnant in that suffering. Suffering can be one of two things, it can either be sugar or gas in your tank, stall you or accelerate you.
As you begin to find joy again, discovering who it is that you desire to be and what contributions that you would like to make to the world, your brain has a new direction and fixation. Setting goals and aligning your day to day to a microcosm of achievable tasks gives the mind a positive direction to reroute. Daily progress is the goal, comparing yourself to how far you have come instead of comparing yourself to the larger goal that you desire to achieve. Progress over perfection. Set SMART goals, specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and timely. A very important component to remember is to show yourself grace and compassion throughout this process because creating new habits can be challenging. When we have so much determination to change and be different, we tend to be too hard on ourselves when we slip. It is okay, just get back up, dust yourself off and try again. Be gentle because healing and change is not linear.
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