Week 4: The Power of Acceptance - Contributing Meaningfully to a Society Focused on Complaints

Gratitude of the Week: I am grateful that this week I have recognized blind spots in my complaining nature.

Socially Acceptable

While we pride ourselves on success in certain areas of our lives, the Universe often places us in new environments to reveal how much growth we still need. Complaining has become such an enormous part of societal conversations that it goes unnoticed and is rarely addressed. As a society, complaining is so normalized that it seems to be an acceptable fraction of everyday conversations. What is also unnoticed is the effects that constant complaining has on our brains wiring and the energy that it drains in both the complainer and the one who is listening.

From Not Complaining

While living alone and hardly interacting with others, I found much gratitude in even the minute things in life. This helped me to create good habits so when I am around others, it was easier to not complain. As I began this lifestyle of gratitude, at work I noticed how much people complained about everything. During lunch, everyone sat at the table eating, gossiping, and complaining about everything that they could think of. I never sat with them nor interacted in these conversations. It was fascinating that although I did not partake in these conversations, simply hearing them were draining for me. Throughout the workday, when others would attempt to spark complaining conversations with me and I would always divert to a positive point of view. I felt a sense of accomplishment as I maintained consistency with being grateful and optimistic.

To Complaining

As I left that job, packed up my apartment, and took a seasonal job with communal housing, I was faced to deal with a new environment and different reality. My position began before the season started so there were not many workers at this location and not much difficult work. But, as the other workers began to arrive and the job become busier, I noticed that I was complaining in a “hidden way”. I work closely with another person who is very chill and down to earth, and I am so grateful for that. Over a few weeks, things that I did not agree with begin recurring in different situations. I said to my coworker, “I am not doing that because it was discussed that it was not a part of our job description” and her response was “okay I’ll do it.” I ruminated on that response for the rest of our shift. When I got back to my room and settled down, I felt uneasy. It was conviction because I realized that I was starting to complain in subtle ways.

To Acknowledging to Readjust

There were two reasons that I felt a deep conviction for falling back into a complaining nature. First, I realized that I had fallen back into the trap of complaining. Second, I had been affecting another person with my complaints when it was clear that I rarely hear her complaining. Along with that, the way that I complained was almost hoping and inviting her to join in because I knew that I was right. The thing is, I am highly aware that there are ways to address issues to find solutions. But to complain out of anger and frustration simply to vent without any intentions of looking for a solution is the problem. Granted, I am not beating myself up but simply acknowledging my error and to guide myself back into the direction that I desire to be.

Challenge Yourself to Not Complain

In the book “A Complaint Free World” by Will Bowen, he challenges people to try to go 21 days without complaining by wearing a purple bracelet that you switch from wrist to wrist every time that you complain. The goal is to keep the bracelet on the same wrist for 21 consecutive days. The stories in the book showed how it took people months, even years to finally make it 21 days without complaining. I read this book March and I ordered the bracelet in attempt to reach the 21 consecutive days. It was one of the most challenging things that I have ever tried in my life. The most fascinating thing that I learned about myself was that although I did not complain to others, I complained to myself. When I was at work or simply interacting with others, I never complained but when I was home, I found myself switching my bracelet from wrist to wrist. This was a major shock. Honestly it was indicative of how I previously treated myself. I treated others better than I treated myself. With complaining, I did not complain to others, but I complained to myself. I’d spare them the loss of energy but would drain my own.

Once I noticed this, it was very difficult to change and then I made an abrupt move to start this seasonal job. And honestly, I forgot about the challenge until I began writing this post. Fortunately, I do have the complaint free purple bracelet with me, and I will put in on today to begin my journey again. I would encourage everyone to begin acknowledging the contribution that your complaining places on yourself, others, and the world. I am clearly still on this journey but the first step to recovery is acceptance.

If you decide to challenge yourself and take on a complain free lifestyle or have thoughts on the topic free to email me at hello@TheBriannaAmanda.com